The Wheel and Axle

Almost four years ago, I met this awesome icon of Philippine Cinema during a screening of Six Degrees of Separation from Lilia Cuntapay in SM Megamall.

I’m a fan and won’t be ashamed to say it.

No, hordes of people were not flocking to see her – aside from me, only a few cinemagoers here and there approached the elderly woman who gamely posed with us.

No, the screening was just a normal screening. It wasn’t one of fanfare nor was it a premiere of any sort. She was there on her own, it seemed, likely interested to see the turn-out (the cinema ended up about 20% full).

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I kind of feel dirty for lusting after this gorgeous Spanish actor while I watched him play a saint in Ignacio De Loyola just last week.

But seriously: just look at him.

And it doesn’t help that Andreas Muñoz spent a good part of the film shirtless.

Screencaps of which I have not seen on the internet.

Sacrilege!

Ah, well, thankfully, I’m not Catholic.

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Last week, we got treated to two things Aquaman-related vis-a-vis the DC Extended Universe (a.k.a. the DC Movieverse).

First, we got news regarding the upcoming Aquaman movie (upcoming as in two years away upcoming: 2018). We finally got a confirmation of the villain, and it will be Black Manta.

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Major spoilers, obv.

Suicide Squad, while not as excellent I was expecting, was great. It was simply pure fun. Dark fun, exciting fun, a refreshing elevation of the darkness of the DCEU into dark humor.

Ignore the “critics” who say otherwise.

The film is based on a DC comic book series of the same name created by Ostrander and Yale in 1987 (not counting the original 1959 more “heroic” incarnation by Kanigher and Andru). In it, the government – through official Amanda Waller – assembles a team of (mostly) metahuman criminals to be Task Force X, a clandestine operative group designed to handle dangerous black ops missions in exchange for clemency and/or commuted prison sentences. They’re “patsies,” as they call themselves, because exposure or getting compromised during such missions leads to the government throwing them under the bus. They also serve as a backup plan in case another “Superman” surfaces, one who might not be as moral as the one who died in BvS.

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… tries to hit on your boyfriend.

She’s really deserving of that crown, isn’t she?

It was hard to get a good profile pic in the days of Mahmud I.

I’ve long known that I shared my birthday with the late, great Peter O’Toole as well as Eddie Furlong (yes, kids, you probably have no idea) and, oh all right, Dingdong Dantes.

However, I recently came upon a more comprehensive list, and I must say, I’m in pretty good company.

Mahmud I. 1696. Because one needs to throw royalty into this list. Mahmud was a Sultan of the Ottoman Empire who fought Persia, Austria, and Russia. He also wrote poetry because obviously one needs a soothing distraction from the occasional pillaging.

Constantine I of Greece. 1868. Okay, fine, just one more royal. Even if he was accused of being a German sympathizer during World War I  (officially, he advocated for neutrality).

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Does the middle part say Batman V Superman?

Key take-aways from Sadako Vs. Kayako.

1. Even a busy vengeful spirit needs to, pardon the pun, let her hair down once in a while by getting her luscious locks rebonded. Two decades of meting out video curses is a long time.
2. If you are obsessed with urban legends, meeting a demonic entity is far more important than preserving your life. Carpe diem!
3. Efficiency gains are as important in the supernatural world as it is in the business world. Where once you needed seven days to fulfill a curse, now you should be able to do it in two days. Think of the FTE savings.
4. Set your cursed video in a different place every few years to keep your intended prey engaged. Old wells are so 90s.
5. Keep up with the times. Enough with the VHS tapes; your target audience is limited, if at all. DVDs, Blu-Ray, and mp4 files are now in vogue. Don’t be Nokia; be Apple.
6. Amateur tarot readers who proclaim that the cards she just dealt you are the worst combination ever should be slapped in the face and then enrolled in a How to Motivate People course.
7. It is never a good idea to upload a cursed video onto YouTube or any form of social media. Unless you are a vengeful spirit, in which case, make sure you priortize once you hit 1,000 likes and shares. That’s a lot of curses to follow through on.
8. You can be assured that a deserted house that no one has lived in for years will have electricity that can power your television and VHS player. Lugging a TV around is also apparently preferable to playing a video on your tablet, or are you concerned that the onryō might have a hard time crawling out of your iPad?
9. Keep your child away from the television. Even if he is a vile, nasty, and treacherous little spirit that is in dire need of a bath. Ooops. In poor taste.
10. Sometimes, stupid plans succeed. More often than not, however, they’re just stupid, and you get viciously cut in half by malevolent ghosts. Or you become one yourself.

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With all the hullabaloo around the recent reveal of Tyler Hoechlin in his Superman costume for his Season 2 debut on the Supergirl TV show (spoilers: I now think he’s a terrible miscast, visually at least, unless he’s playing Bizarro), I think we should not forget who IMHO is the best TV Superman to date. No, not Tom Welling, sorry.

Of course, I’m talking about none other than Dean Cain, star of 90s classic The Adventures of Lois and Clark.

And today, Dean celebrates his 50th birthday.

Without looking anywhere near fifty.

Damn those good genes.

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Magwithdraw na ng kayamanan mula sa mga Swiss at Cayman accounts! Isangla na ang mga alahas, pati na ang mga pilak na kubyertos! Kailangan na ang pondo para sa VIP ticket, hotel, at lahat ng mga aktibidades!

Queens, we all know what’s coming to the Philippines in 2017.

Oh. Em. Gee!

And we’re like, yaaaas!