The Wheel and Axle

The year was 1998.

It was a time darker than I really acknowledged in the succeeding years. I have always considered it past me, that I’ve put it behind me, that I’ve learned my life lessons, that it was something I could easily shrug off, maybe even laugh off.

Apparently, it wasn’t entirely true, and all these years I’ve suppressed how much of an impact that incident really had in my life.

Recently, at the suggestion of my mentor Jessica, we visited Healing House. We did some alternative therapy, and during my session, I recalled that dark time – the only time I have ever really felt suicidal.

It seems so trivial now. I was an immature, barely-21 young man. Then again, what seems trivial now meant the whole world to someone so hopeful in life during that time.

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I don’t know how I’ve been rendered speechless.

It’s not like me to be quite at a loss for words.

I pride myself in my capability to find the perfect sentence, the right turn of phrase, the exact word that makes things right or moves things along. Admittedly, I am stronger with the written word than the spoken, and yet despite this I’ve rarely found it difficult to express things to anyone, at least not in the last decade or so.

And yet here I am, rendered incapable of expressing my thoughts, of speaking my emotions, as though the mere act would consume me.

Overly dramatic, for sure, and perhaps therein lies the shame I feel for something I should actually be joyful about. But where is the joy in the thought of risking all that you want with just a mere utterance of a phrase or two?

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15 August 2018.

Originally posted on my Facebook account. I was on vacation in Thailand – first in Bangkok, then Chiang Mai. I never thought I’d ever get this opportunity, but wow.

Ok, forgive this fanboy moment, but I’ve been such a huge fan of Pluem Purim ever since Slam Dance the Series. Yes, I do watch Thai soaps and shows. Sue me.

Yesterday, I found out from the fan club’s IG that he’s flying from Chiang Mai to Bangkok tonight, several hours before our own flight to Bangkok (where we would stay until Friday before flying home to the Philippines).

So I went for it.

He’s really nice and personable with the fans there. It was definitely worth the effort seeing him in person, and it was a nice thing to have experienced on my birthday vacation trip!

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He took his hand,

they slipped out the door.

Down the corridor

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Once upon a time, I enabled cheating.

Knowingly.

Deliberately.

I was a third party.

For about two years, give or take.

That’s a pretty long time to be a mistron.

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Pluem Purim turns 21 today, May 21st, during the 21st century (as my friend André said).

I’ve been a huge fan of Thai actor Pluem Purim Rattanaruangwattana (okay, let’s call him Pluem) since last year. I first saw him on Slam Dance, where he played Ryu.

Interject: Slam Dance made me a fan of Thai-seryes – which I find more interesting than Koreanovelas and all the other Asian imports. I find that the Thai are less uptight about solid LGBT stories, something woefully lacking in much of Asian soaps and series.

Back to Pluem.

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Today is #IDAHOT: International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.

Today we remember our brothers and sisters who became victims of violence and hate. Today we are reminded that, despite some progress in our struggle, the fight for our rights continues.

Respect and acceptance: because LGBT+ rights are human rights.

And perhaps, when people realize that, then we can truly say that it is an inclusive and diverse society.

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The beauty of silver shone through UP Babaylan as it celebrated its 25th year anniversary.

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So. Much. Feels.

And… Cher!

They could probably stage an entire production of The Lion King if they did this on EDSA or C5. I’d watch that, TBH.